There are no words....

Where do I begin? I am so frustrated and tired. I try so hard to be positive, yet I think I have finally reached my breaking point. Actually I will just be real. I took Paislee back for a four week checkup from ear surgery today expecting to hear we are on the right track. I never heard those words. The trip just started out wrong. Paislee could have worn her costume to the hospital today which I thought was pretty cool but she chose not to. I thought that was pretty odd. What five year old does not want to wear her princess dress? I just brushed it off as too early in the morning. We then were on our way. We get to the hospital to the valet parking ( free service of the hospital) and the valet guy recognizes Paislee and says "Hi, where are you going today?" Paislee kinda hangs her head and says "I have to get my ears checked". I though oh no, not going to be a great day. We had to stop by Pizza Hut for lunch in the hospital food court. For some reason this seems to be a highlight, so we do it! At this point, anything will help!

So I am thinking we are doing pretty good. I then tell her we have to go and that is when it starts!! The tears start rolling and it's Mommy, hold me!! So I do. I sit down by the food court on the side by the stage in a chair and I hold my baby girl and I cry. I cried and held her tight. I couldn't hold it in, even though I tried so very hard. I am so tired and frustrated as well as Paislee. I look around at the food court area and recognize so many nurses that we have had and even a couple of doctors at lunch hour that I can see from my spot on the side. My child has seen all these people and more than once and then they recognize her and some even on a first name basis. I mean even the gift shop knows her name has an e at the end and not a y when sending balloons when you mention last name. It's not supposed to be this way. So we compose ourselves. I get into Mommy mode and toughen up, go to bathroom wash face and we head up. We put a smile on our face and pretend we are super mermaids in the ocean!

We see the doctor and we get another blow. She still has an infection from surgery. And to top it off, the cartilage repair from her previous surgery on her other ear is starting to tear again. Yes, that's right! Your expression is the same as mine and the doctor's. So guess what? MORE SURGERY. Hopefully it can be done at the same time as the replacement of the hearing bones in that ear. It's too early to tell. We had so much inflammation that we couldn't have a hearing test so we have to wait two more months so after three rounds of antibiotic comes ROUND FOUR. This time we have a whole month. The plan is to let Paislee take a month of antibiotic and to try to clear the infection, help the inflammation and just let her try to heal. My child has stumped the Vanderbilt community! The doctor took pictures and is taking them back to his team to decide what to do. By the end of this appointment Paislees right side of her face and eye is swollen with cold and infection so we got our medicine right away. We then had to head to Opry Mills because I promised and she wanted to go to the Disney store, so of course I am taken full advantage of. Lol! We get our picture made at the Bass Pro shop for Halloween, get our Elsa gear from Disney and finally are on our way home. In the picture you can notice some swelling around her right cheek and eye. Thank goodness it is coming down pretty fast!

Meanwhile, I have a little guy at home who had a visit with our pediatrician with a double ear infection the first part of the week. Let's say, I am tired, frustrated, sad, mad, and all in between. So when you have a bad day, just be a super mermaid as Paislee says. It sure helped us this day! We have to keep our heads high because there are brighter days ahead and In Paislee's words...." Mommy, when this is all over we will test our mermaid powers at Disney World and the beach!" Hmmmm... Sounds like a plan! 

Happy Halloween from Elsa and Olaf!!